staring me down
pointing crooked fingers of perfection
at my lack of divinity
reminding me of all I am not
and all I will never be
your glare is ice upon the surface of my soul
its cool breeze causes me to question everything
my mind become a dark cellar
thoughts lost in the dust of forgotten days
forgotten dreams
repressed nightmares
and sins that were once locked away
Now
Exposed in Darkness
your reflection of righteousness
strips me of all my dignity
leaves me cold
naked
alone
I am forced to see myself through your eyes
through your ideals
through your grandiose nonsense
But
I cannot see you
because your superficial posture blocks out the light
13 comments:
This poem provides a clear picture of a self-righteous, drunk-in-his-own-holiness individual who is so judgmental but in reality doesn't even have it all together himself. He points the finger of judgment at someone else- causing them to feel inferior and condemned...
You posted a poem. :)
you know. I think it's more about guilt than judgment.
I have SO MANY things I would like to say about this poem, but I feel like it would take forever, and it's mainly about myself. :) You summed up my life here pretty much.
I also think it's more about a feeling (or a thought) than a person. We put ourselves in the judgment seat.
Interesting thought:
Do we tend to judge ourselves more than other judge us?
Sure, people judge us. But in a spiritual sense, I think we are judged more by ourselves than anyone else. We know our sin, whereas others can only speculate. It's a tough job knowing all that. Sometimes, I think it's more of ourselves believing the other person is judging us because we haven't gotten over something, or we are still deep in something we know we shouldn't be doing.
I don't really know.
I know i judge myself a lot, and the littlest things bring me crashing down because I expect so much out of myself, or I fool myself into think others expect so more.
I think I'm taking this the wrong direction. haha. :)
I thing you're on to something, joeellyn. i am convinced that we are almost always harder on ourselves than others are; we tend to judge ourselves A LOT...i know i tend to. i believe all of us have at one point or another. whether it's through comparing ourselves to others, or even by fearing that if others knew the "real" us, they wouldn't accept us for who we are. We know the sins and difficulties we struggle with, and instead of remembering that all of us are human and are going to struggle, we beat ourselves up over it. by doing this we allow the Enemy to place a sense of despair and condemnation over our lives. I really do believe that a lot of the time we get over judgmental of ourselves, or think others are being judgmental of us, when in reality they really couldn't care less.
My bad! the first sentence of my last comment is supposed to read "I think...", not "I thing...". Sry!..(long day!!!) lol
Interesting thoughts,
I wonder what it is that propels us to be judgmental in the first place. If we understand the harsh thoughts we have towards ourselves, then why do we propel them onto someone else. I often wonder if it is a deeper issue than wanting to feel better about ourselves.
thoughts?
I'm pretty sure that it's because our boy Isaiah knew what he was talking about. Isaiah said that God would write the laws on our hearts, and give us a heart of flesh, taking out our heart of stone. Can't remember verse :(. But it play in two parts. One part is the portrayl of Christ, and the other is the simple fact the God created us in His image. We were created with the full knowing of what was good, but being born into a fallen world, we know the bad as well. Our hearts constantly scream out for more than what this world has to offer, and many of us get caught up in a search for self-justification and righteousness. We end up forgetting what created us, the Ultimate Justice and Righteousness. We seek it out on our own so we get caught up in judging ourselves and others. I think if we would begin to put our full faith and seek out our joy in Christ, that this judgement thing would slowly slip away. We need to actually begin to have joy and fun in seeking God. It's no good at all if we seek God out of 'duty'. God calls for a relationship, in a relationship if anything becomes about duty and not because you enjoy it, that work or thing becomes worthless. I guess that's a long way of saying we need to really embrace the stinking awesomeness of Jesus and stop worrying about everyone else.
I think we judge others because we want them to feel how we feel.
"If I feel bad because I sinned, then I know you're sinning, you should feel as bad as I do. Why don't you feel bad?"
I'll admit it. I do that all the time. I feel so horrible about the littlest, stupidest things I do, and then look at others and think "they do worse things than me, how can they honestly sit there and be okay, why aren't they upset?" When the truth is, I don't know what they are, because I can't read their hearts. Even worse, I find myself taking on their sins, especially if I'm close to them and know what they're doing. I have a bad habit of feeling like things are my fault, I could have stopped them by saying something or doing something differently. There's where I judge again. It seems impossibly hard to not judge ourselves and others. That's just the way my mind seems to work, as much as I hate it, I feel like I can't change it.
It seems like the answer to everything is always, put your full faith in God. I know that's the answer, but I don't live it. I feel like I deserve the guilt sometimes, like God isn't doing enough. WHICH IS SILLY. because God is always enough, right? Release Tuesday was all about this: guilt and judgment. I think they go hand in hand.
Sometimes, I think we worry about other's sins and problems more then our own so we don't have to focus on ourselves. We won't have to analyze ourselves or bring ourselves to God for forgiveness and peace. It sort of contradicts my whole idea about judging ourself a lot, but just another thought.
Well, when I judge others, it's usually not "hey, let's judge Billy Bob." It just happens.
I have not been checking up on the blog lately and I apologize.
And I really don't know what else to say.
Is it just me or is praying hard??
I mean, it's hard to comprehend that I'm praying to God for something to happen, yet he already knows what's going to happen.
I don't know. I almost feel like what's the point if he already knows.
And I know Prayer works. But then again would God change his mind about something if we prayed? That's what is confusing to me.
I get into this routine of praying every morning when I'm getting ready for school, during the moment of silence, driving in my car, and before I go to sleep. But am I believing what I'm saying? Sometimes I feel like I ramble to God. I just have this "let me tell you about my day" kind of thing. Although I already know he knows, it's good to talk to someone. But asking for certain things, and praying for certain people, I struggle with; lack of faith I guess. And this year at SYATP, it was soo tough praying for specific people. I didn't believe anything I prayed for, nothing.
I know this has nothing to do with what the blog is about, but I thought I'd bring it up.
Anyone else struggling?
LOL
we all struggle. I sometimes look to the Heavens and want to pull on God's robes to get him to listen to me. I feel like all I do is pray pray pray and then I have to wait. I also think that is part of the process. God is always teaching us something in the midst of what we are going through.
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