I am not sure if I will continue to put my poems on here, I do not want this to be seen as vanity. I actually express myself best in verse. If you are enjoying the poetry let me know. By the way, a lot of you are reading and yet not responding. There is no problem with that, I just wanted a place where there could be a community of thought and discussion. What am I saying, please continue to read but I would love some conversation as well.
I wrote this one recently ........
We follow in accordance
standing two by two
placing our hands towards Heaven
but none of its for you
Our tears are rivers of complacency
Dry rivers that do not flow
Except when eyes behold
The person they think I know
We lift our voice to Heaven
But our hearts are set in Hell
Wanting only to be glorified
by no one but myself.
Here is another poem, just to stir things up a bit.........!
I see
touch
taste
feel the very semantics that you spit
nothing will stop the long rattle of
your high pitched vocal breathes
Just move
go
leave
run from the very ground you tilled for me to fall in
such deep holes are rarely seen
and many times deadly
I hear
heard
listened
echoed the vibrations that reverberated
breaking the sound barriers of my soul
and building a thicker wall of stone
I long
wish
desire
crave something more sincere than could ever be
given
The tears that fall are painted strokes of deceptions right
hand
and I can see the true reflection
you.
9 comments:
I like the poems..
but.."standing two by two"...
that confused me.
wait...does that have anything to do with Noah's ark??
Lauren,
I intermingled religious thoughts and stories. So, who knows, it could very well be a reference to old Noah's big boat. :)
Josh, i liked the poems...let me think a little about them before i post anything else.
lol okay, no problem.
i like the poems too...but idk what to type yet.
In your second poem, it seems almost as though you're speaking of a 3rd person in the mix.. Maybe someone that was supposed to have some sort of spiritual authority in your life, but it never really went that way.."I hear
heard
listened
echoed the vibrations that reverberated
breaking the sound barriers of my soul
and building a thicker wall of stone"
Almost like whoever you're speaking of didn't aid you in your times but instead repeated the same old same old, and it just made you resent things more. Maybe a look into the redundance of the teachings occuring in many churches. Idk if I'm going anywhere with that, but it's just what I get from your poem :D!. Btw I like them.
okay. i'm ready to comment.
i don't know why. i tend to take my time in leaving comments. i guess i just have to be in the mood to say what i'd like to say.
oh, and i'd like to note that i like the poetry entries, and in no way see it as a form of vanity. i think it's interesting reading other people's poetry. and your poems are like riddles sometimes. fun to chip at.
the first one seems very autobiographical...the things you see (complacent people pretending to worship a god they don't really know) and how you believe others around you perceive you (or rather look to you as someone who's spiritually advanced or something, when really you're doing the best you can). i was kind of thrown off with the last lines of the second and third stanzas. I like the second stanza. I like the third as well, but "by no one but myself" didn't seem to flow right until i read it a few times. i almost thought you had maybe typed it wrong, (i thought you might have meant "ourselves" rather than "myself") but if you meant to type it the way you did, then i think i get why you chose "myself" instead.
as for the second poem...it's my favorite. to me, it seems to have more depth than the first, and a lot more to read. it makes me want to reread it...over and over again (something i literally did when i first noticed you had posted a new entry on the blog). it sounds like a frustrated poem. like you're angry at someone or something that isn't telling the truth, or trying to mislead you, and you've just caught on to their game. i like it a lot. more figurative language.
i decided to post another comment about the poems...i've had some time to think more about what exactly i wanted to say... My thoughts on the first one are very similar to that of joeellyn's. What i perceived it to be saying is that you're looking around at all these "religious" people going through their religious "rituals", if you will, you know the whole "placing their hands towards Heaven" but none of it really being for God, the lifting of their voices to Heaven but their hearts really being set in Hell... all just to be glorified by some one and not really doing it to be truly glorifying to God. That true connection isn't there...it's all just a fake show.
As for my thoughts on the second poem- it sounded really cool...(yeah, i know that sounds kinda lame of me to say... but honestly, i didn't quite get what exactly you were trying to say. Not that it isn't a neat poem or anything; i just didn't fully get it enough to make a comment on it).
oh, and by the way, i'm absolutely lovin' the poetry and would be really disappointed if you stopped including it in your bloggs!!
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