This is not going to be another one of those overtly passionate writings that seeks to impress people with my superficial approach to complex emotions. I honestly do not know what to do or how to do it. I stare into the faces of students, friends, family and those people I just see around the block and my heart breaks. Its like someone stabs my soul with a sword that has a frozen tip, its bitter chill just sits inside of me till I feel I cant bear it any longer. Then, I become numb, only to repeat the process again and again but each time the pain is less, the care is less and then the compassion will usually be replaced with apathy.
I have been overwhelmed over the past few months at the aggressive and vile behavior that most people have towards one another. One would think that this anger, malice, bitterness, rage and all the other emotions that come with humanity would be removed in the very stability and love of the church community. Unfortunately, it seems that we have deeper wounds and larger scars from the very fellowship that should provide security. Sad. It so difficult at times. I see all these students who are bleeding from every place that is exposed and I cant do anything. I cant take anything away, I cant offer anything but words that tend to fall on deaf ears and boarded up hearts. It hurts me to see deep within their eyes the pains of choices they have made and the scars of the things out of their control. It bring me to tears many nights.
The saddest fact.......all I can offer is the Bible and Christ and for most, they are so numbed to giving Jesus answers that their melancholy responses are more like echoes in a cave. Their reverberations are just stock answers bouncing off the walls of their hearts. But they dont believe the words that fall from their lips.
Do we not bring with us the very person, spirit and joy of Christ Jesus. Do we not embody the essence of a savior who came with love to, "seek and save that which is lost,"? So why do we hate? Why do we ridicule? Why do we break the backs of those who are burdened and bruised? Is it out of our own fear of inferiority? Is is because we want to be on the offensive and not the defensive? Is it because we are machined creatures of a vicious culture that teaches me before we?
I guess that is why I am writing, I am curious to see what everyone else thinks.....their perspective....their deeper insight than I have. ......we'll see. ......
