On Being Judgmental : A Poem

You stand with your eyes of fire 

staring me down 

pointing crooked fingers of perfection 

at my lack of divinity

reminding me of all I am not 

and all I will never be

your glare is ice upon the surface of my soul

its cool breeze causes me to question everything 

my mind become a dark cellar

thoughts lost in the dust of forgotten days 

forgotten dreams 

repressed nightmares

and sins that were once locked away 

Now

Exposed in Darkness

your reflection of righteousness

strips me of all my dignity 

leaves me cold

naked

alone

I am forced to see myself through your eyes 

through your ideals 

through your grandiose nonsense 

But

I cannot see you 

because your superficial posture blocks out the light

Fear: What a Shame

I want to discuss two topics that I feel go hand and hand. I don't mean that they perfectly aline like gymnast on the balance beam but I do think that one affects the other. These two concepts are the fear of the lord and the apparent choice to be ashamed of God. What I hope to expound upon in monumental effectiveness is this very simple idea, if we truly fear the Lord God then there would be no room for being ashamed. 

In our society fear carries one basic definition. It is an unpleasant feeling or emotion that is brought about by the understanding or assumption that something could cause pain. This is seen in those cheesy B movies where masked men carry chain saws. They chase people down hallways and survive everything from gunshots to atomic bombs. While this is a sensible definition I am afraid this does not work in the arena of God.  How horrible would it be if God chased us down darkly lit streets with an axe in one hand and a Bible in the other. I don't think this is what Solomon meant in Prov 1:7 where he states, "The FEAR of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge..." 

So what did he mean? 

I know that multiple pastors will quickly push a cultural definition aside and jump to a historically relevant concept and simply teach that the fear of God is just reverence. Is this not a simplistic solution to a deeper issue? How can we just blow it off and state that if you have reverence for God it is the same as fear. That doesn't answer the question and it tends to lead to a concept that if I don't like the word I can pick another one that makes me happy. Fear cuts a person to the core. Its deep scars are apparent in the very marrow of a person's being. It is an all encompassing element of a person. It grips them and will not let them go. Fear persuades people like a crafty politician behind a profound podium with a deafening sound system that drowns out all sound and reverberates in the eardrum. Replacing that with simple reverence is like replacing Rambo for a  Ken doll.

There is an element of reverence but that very reverence must be compelled by the fear of God. This is where modern Christianity has lost its way. We tend to sugar coat God and demean the Lion of the tribe of Judah into a cute little goat that just wants to eat his grass and be happy. He doesn't want to invite anybody over because he might offend them and doesn't want to tell people what to do because that is not very nice. He just sits, eats and gets fat. 

So what does fear mean? Let me ask a question, is there anything actually wrong with God asking us to fear him? I don't think that God is requesting we hide behind rocks and run from him. I do think that without a healthy understanding of who God is and what God is capable of doing, we will never honor God in the manner he deserves. What if the fear of God was a wholistic understanding of his eternal attributes. Think about it, on one hand we would realize that God is the one who gives us our very breath. This may lead someone to worry that God may one day get tired of our existence and just remove our breath. This may cause an unhealthy fear of God but once a person read a little more they would realize that  on the other hand, God is a just and righteous God and that in his very nature He does not respond in that way. This would lead one to think that maybe the fear of God is more about the understanding of who He is and the acknowledging of His ability and might. 

This very issue is why I believe we are so ashamed of God or rather we live our lives in such a way that we perpetuate our shame. It seems that we fear other people and this world more than the creator of all things. How could we have come to a place that we fear the creation more than the creator? I find myself getting angry at myself, which probably is the definition of madness but still, because I cant seem rip the fear of others out of my system. I will be sitting somewhere or be in a situation that is perfect to share my faith or stand firm for some truth of the faith and in a gut instinct I become a turtle and hide in my shell. I will shrink away and remain silent or remove myself from the situation. There are always good reasons of course....right....right? 

Now I am curious what you think...what are you thoughts on this subject.