So Many Problems, So Little Time

I find it strange that we, as Christians, will spend our whole lives walking in and out of hall ways that are covered with pictures of Biblical situations and themes and yet we never actually get what we are seeing. We will sit for hours of our lives and hear from the word of God and yet never act upon what we hear. We will sing songs to a supreme being and yet our praises are typically in vain. We will even read this supposed book that is to change our lives and then lay it aside to read a non inspired person's view on the book. I have wondered for years about why we do these things and have come to a conclusion. A conclusion that is debatable and may even be wrong. For now, it is all I have.
I believe there are three basic reasons that we miss the whole purpose of Christ and this movement known as Christianity. The firs reason is that we have forgot what is our authority. Right now most people who are reading this have already decided in their brains what they believe to be the ultimate authority. Some may say God, others the Bible and many would say Christ. Any one in favor of God? I am. Many people have forgotten how the whole authority thing works. It goes simply like this, God is our authority and we learn of this through His word which teaches us about Christ who is the one who, through his death on the cross, now offers grace. I know, that is a mouth full but they all work together. The Bible and Christ are both under the authority of God. I know there is much more to discuss in this area. I do not have time to go into detail. If you have a problem with this thought process, read the whole book of Hebrews.
Now, let me explain briefly what I think has happened in modern Christianity. The modern church is so hell bent on being the one in control that it searches for its authority in the people and not God. Churches will cater all things to the people. Churches want to please people and keep them drugged. The modern church desires not to please the supreme being who created them but they would rather opt to not offend people with all that supposed nonsense. Don't believe me? Let me give an example. Most churches that are considered contemporary are more focused on worship than the teaching of the word of God. Now, in thought, this is not necessarily a bad thing but look deeper. People in the modern church judge the effective ability of the church by its worship style and how they feel after worship. They are not concerned with that God is teaching or doing but just want a simple high and then they know everything is otay. This is not what the authority over all intended for the church. We have forgotten whom we are worshiping. If God is the sole authority of your life, should not church be completely centered and about God? Just a thought.
The second problem I see is that we have completely lost all focus. The church is more about the mechanical functionality and the programs we produce, notice the the, "We." It seems that we go about our rigorous study of God's word because we have always done that. It seems that we do not study to show ourselves approved but we study because that is what churches do. I do not think that just because some function is completed it makes it useful. Want an example? Look at the gizmos and gadgets that come out on infomercials. Half of the things produced are junk and yet, functionally, they work....most of the time. What am I saying? Merely that we have become a shiny robot that moves because of a program. We are not a living breathing body that sometimes is cut and actually shows scars. I fear that we have decided that rose colored classes are better than the blurred vision of reality. Why does this occur? I would love to share. This problem occurs because in our functions we are safe and secure. We find hope not in an immortal being that saves but in the company of our programmed chaos. All long as the wheel spins we don't have to worry. This belief leads to small groups of people that are all the same. If we dropped the functions and programs we may have to rely on someone other than ourselves. We may have to get dirty and we may have to work at it, we may have to rely on God.
The final problem, and this one irritates me, is that we would rather be entertained than taught. Church has become a three ring circus that has to continually re-invent the scary tigers and bears. I understand being relevant but if the word of God is meant for all people in all times then it does not need monkeys doing high wire acts to make it such. What do I mean, we will do 45 minutes of videos, use modern slogans and borrow from culture to make ourselves relevant to the people. O how many sermon titles will have super bowl themes and how many will have something with an Ipod like theme. I am not saying these are bad, although I fear we have lost all creativity when we borrow everything. What I am saying is that cute slogans are not teaching. Why can we not teach the depths of scripture and show that God's word always has a place. There are so many things that are not taught. The Bible contains volumes of intelligent conversation that we are afraid of boring the people with. I myself sometimes tend to use humor because I don't want to bore my students away. Why do I fear this, because I too fight this battle of relevancy. To sum it all up, we adopt to be cute clowns over professors because as long as the crowd is happy and we say something nice, they might learn. I propose another idea...how about we teach and those who want it will come and those who don't, weren't learning anyways.

Okay, okay, I know this has been long. I just needed to get that out. I pray it all makes sense and gives us something to talk about.

Just let Go

Alright, for now, I will post some more poetry. Just know, I can always resort to stating that I have no more poems. Which would only be a lie if you sifted through my notebooks and translated my handwriting to find out the truth....so ha!. By the way, I thank you all for commenting a little more. It is sad I have to make threats to get you all to talk. But, being mean, I can threaten all I want.
I do want to ask for a moment of silence. It is not just for my beloved Tigers who lost to a filthy vermin know as a razorback nor is it because I rode 4 1/2 hours to see my team go down in triple over time. I can handle such wretched truths in life. I am calling for a moment of silence for all those people who find it humorous to belittle my weak heart and make the tragic events of last Friday a mockery. So, before you read the follow lines......please pause.....enjoy the silence......and remember....even Youth Minister with amazing ninja skilz.....bleed....

This was written about 6 months before I moved to Center.

"Just Let Go"

I see the cliff before me
Its sharp edges pierce my toes
I can feel the air around me
blowing through my hair
My eyes fill with moist fear
running down the curves of my bravery
I cling to the memories
and reasons to stay here
'Don't make me jump," I scream
in the darkness of echoes
I scream it louder
louder
louder
until my voice becomes an inaudible vibrations in the air
I can not see the bottom
the unknown convinces my assumptions
then a voice like thunder whispers in
my ear
let go
let go
let go
I look into the sky and cry for a sign
a dove or eagle, an olive branch
something
then the soft whisper of thunder blew through
my ear as a mother who calls her
crying child
"I am with you,"
I look again into the darkness
a little closer it seems
because I swear in the nothingness I see
open hands, palms up and a voice says
jump
jump
jump
so I closed my eyes
jumped
and never touched the ground.
April 9, 2006

Two Things Seperated by Something that Combines

I am not sure if I will continue to put my poems on here, I do not want this to be seen as vanity. I actually express myself best in verse. If you are enjoying the poetry let me know. By the way, a lot of you are reading and yet not responding. There is no problem with that, I just wanted a place where there could be a community of thought and discussion. What am I saying, please continue to read but I would love some conversation as well.

I wrote this one recently ........

We follow in accordance
standing two by two
placing our hands towards Heaven
but none of its for you

Our tears are rivers of complacency
Dry rivers that do not flow
Except when eyes behold
The person they think I know

We lift our voice to Heaven
But our hearts are set in Hell
Wanting only to be glorified
by no one but myself.


Here is another poem, just to stir things up a bit.........!

I see
touch
taste
feel the very semantics that you spit
nothing will stop the long rattle of
your high pitched vocal breathes
Just move
go
leave
run from the very ground you tilled for me to fall in
such deep holes are rarely seen
and many times deadly
I hear
heard
listened
echoed the vibrations that reverberated
breaking the sound barriers of my soul
and building a thicker wall of stone
I long
wish
desire
crave something more sincere than could ever be
given
The tears that fall are painted strokes of deceptions right
hand
and I can see the true reflection
you.

Something New to Ponder

Softly and tenderly
sweet nothing is calling
not to home but far abroad
promising gold but giving glitter
promising love but leaving void
empty I feel and pain I know
from my choice
my fault
my temptation
I become
Softly and tenderly
sweet nothing is calling
not to safety but to a fire
offering peace but providing chaos
offering grace but breaking my back
stoic I stare into the deep chasm
from which I must leave
to go somewhere
to anywhere
to my mind
I run from
Softly and painfully
sweet reality knocks
not to comfort but to enlighten
promising truth and proving sound
promising strength and holding firm
secure I lay upon a rock
that holds me
pardons me
supports me
and my rest
Softly and tenderly
sweet nothing is calling
not to pass but to fail
exposing cross-dressed lies
that paint color where skin should be
now I see
the broken
the pale
the wretched
me
I use to be
Softly and tenderly
sweet redemption is calling
not by pain but through grace
providing freedom and swelling my eyes
providing newness and wiping them away
tired I fall by revelation deeper than time
to my knees
on my hands
my face kisses the earth

A poem

I am honestly nervous about this post. Just read it honestly and comment if you like.
* This was written after Pope John II past away.*


His praises rise to Heaven
tripling off the tongues of honored guest
locked within a cypress tomb,
tucked into the depths of stone
as a god, he is glorified, revered,
like a king
his subjects bending with broken backs
to kiss the feet of sanctity
Poor mourners of forgotten losses
bones do not hold the soul
where dust and moth collect
they dance alone in soil.
His life is considered righteous
concerning his deeds of grace
denied himself to loving another
given to those who know it not
as a man he is glorified, revered,
like a king
his subjects choosing their idol graves
to pretend to become holy
they stand to honor a man
judging him with tears of supposed understanding
stuck in a dark room,
blinded to a light they cannot see
Poor mourners of forgotten losses
bones do not hold the soul
where dust and moth collect
they dance alone in soil.

Whose Your Daddy....Prt. 1

Perpetually I find myself asking questions that I don't know if I, myself, can answer. Last night in CrossWalk I proposed a question that I would like to ponder a bit deeper. I also want to discuss some positives and potential negatives, or road blocks.
In Isaiah 9:6 the coming Christ is referred to as, "Everlasting Father." To me personally this idea has a wondrous tone. My mind is filled with imagery of my childhood and all the things my father has done for me. I have never been disappointed or abused by my father. My dad, whom I refer to as Pops because I can, has been an amazing example of a father. My honest prayer is that one day, when, "Drea," and I have children, I can be half the man my father has been to me. This both excites me and scares me. I don't know if I can live up to what he did. I know he is human and has faults. I have seen some of his faults but the good trumps the bad. I see in my Dad things that I want to be. It is because of that very thought that I am excited about Christ being an, "Everlasting Father," and what brings me to tears.
I don't know about anyone else but I am sometimes terrified about the idea that Christ is my eternal father. It is not because I fear some cosmic paddling. I just don't know how to live up to Christ. I can attempt to be like my earthly father because I know that he will mess up one day and is not perfect but how can I live up to perfection itself? How can I become like divinity? I know the churchy cliche's that tell me that if I read the Bible enough and hug enough people then I will be like Christ. I just think there must be something more to being like Christ. I sincerely want to become like my Dad. I want to teach my kids and love them as he has loved me. As for Christ, I love the idea but tend to carry a defeatist attitude. I guess I assume that there is no way I can be like him, so I opt to not even attempt the impossible. I unfortunately have no answer or cute phrase to make this any better. Just a frustrated heart that fears messing up and having my eternal father shaking his head.
I am going to talk about another part of this issue in a latter addition. This is just the first section of this discussion.

Church.....What is that again?

Reflections

I am coming to a computer screen wanting to develop some composition that will drive people to a deep intellectual place. I fear that all I am doing is grasping at straws and will only become just another Christian trying to sound smart but in reality people see straight through me. I know my limitations and my failures. I look in the mirror every morning at the body that God gave me. It does not take an Einstein to see the imperfections that make me appear more like a “Van Gogh,” than a, “Michelangelo.” I know my brain and where it wanders, I also know what I desire to ponder and think about. I have this battle every day over the person I desire to be and the one that I see in the mirror.
I just want to know where it all comes to completion. Where do the two parts collide and become one congruous entity. When will the person I see in the mirror begin to reflect the person I want to be deep down inside? I have found that I search for that fullness in so many places that a small piece of me begins to reflect more of the people I associate with than the person I truly am. These areas in my life are, friends, family and the church.
Part of my problem is that friendship has been a long hard battle for me. So, when I found someone I could trust I ran into their arms and smothered myself in who they were. I would begin be the reflection of the people I hung around the most. My body language, vocabulary and attitude where formed by the people that I called friends. This led me down many different roads of conformity. I can remember the days I wanted to pierce my tongue and dress gothic because the crew I hung out did those things. I told people for a long time that when I went off to college I would come back something completely different, with all the piercing, hairstyles and clothing that would set me apart, even though I hated that look. I now know that it was all a desire to be welcomed and accepted. What is funny is that after a month into college I chunked most of my dark clothes and began to where the shorts, flip-flops and polo’s that I am so famous for wearing. I have also been through so many backstabbing friends that my back looks like a war zone. Despite the fact that I am male, I hurt, cry and have feelings that pump in and out of me. I now am very careful to not let everyone see who I am. I wouldn’t say I hide behind a mask; I just do not let everyone in to see the deeper parts of me. I spent so much time giving myself away that at times I forgot what I even looked like.
I have never had a hard family life. My family always welcomed me with open arms. I guess that is why I felt the need to hold so much from them. I never wanted to disappoint my family. My parents loved me and showered me with praise for the things I did right, I never wanted to taint their view of me by showing a picture of who I really was. I never lied to my family; I just refrained from telling certain stories and elaborating on details. Some friendships I kept inside because of a fear of the, “You shouldn’t hang out with those kind of people,” speech. I began to reflect this person that fit perfectly in my family. I came to my parents when I hurt and was always blunt with the things I could share. I asked myself many times, “who is the real me?” I always tossed and turned the mirror to decide which reflection I thought was the real me. Sadly, I found that I preferred the shimmer of a false me to the shine of the real.
If I had hours to discuss how the church has shaped me, this blogg would go on for days. I want to present a difference between how the physical church, the people inside the building and the invisible church that encompasses all of those who are in Christ has affected my reflection. The invisible body of Christ has never failed me. It allowed me to be the real person. The true church of God has always been faithful to admit whom it was before it pointed fingers in another direction. The invisible body of Christ is filled with people who are struggling through sanctification and only desire that others experience the joy of grace. In that church, I have always been myself. The physical church drove me to hide inside of myself. There was no forgiveness or grace, no understanding. The physical church has been about the work of God and not God. The Gospel has been distorted into a picture of perfect people seeking a perfect God. This God in return doesn’t change them but pats them on the back and loves them in their legalism. I guess this is why I am more concerned about working with all my brothers and sisters in Christ and not filling one building with a thousand people. Numbers do not dictate health.
I am not bashing any church. I am stating that the church has two sides and both have affected me. In one I could be my forgiven self that wanted to learn of the God who could heal me, change me and make me a new person. In the other, I faked Jesus, played at worship, and reflected a false picture of perfection.
I am tired of feeling like a thousands things being rolled into one. I want to live my life as a whole united front. I know that I cannot point any fingers anywhere but at myself. I know it takes a choice to seek the one who can truly make me whole. That is where prayer, meditation on the word and all the other disciplines come into place. Maybe the problem with me is not my reflection. Maybe the problem is I must quite looking into other people’s mirrors and beginning look to one who will give me a new reflection.

G-overnment Or D-ivinity (Thoughts on how we all fit in the picture)

I want this to be a community based blogg so many times I will post my next topic based on what is happening within the context of Church, my own life (which could be scary) and comments that are posted on the blogg. Lauren C and David brought up some interesting points in the last blogg and I would like to expound upon those thoughts, add some more and see what you all think. By the way, everyone is making good comments.

I have always struggled with the churches place within a society. I get tired of both preachers and politicians who use their proverbial pulpits to say their thoughts. I have found that we all keep saying the same things and there is never change that occurs. If these sermons that are preached are so deep rooted in human existence, should there not be some form of response. What tends to happen is extremisms. On the religious side everyone and everything becomes the devil incarnate. The church begins to picture all things as an attack on God almighty and makes proclamation of divine grandeur. These proclamations only deepen the wound instead of skillfully adding stitches. Let it be stated loud and clear that the God that designed the vast wonders of the universe does not need the church to defend His honor. The churches job is to serve the master builder and provide the truth that will lead others to follow the builder’s plans. Unfortunately the church tends to push the world out and bandage its own. Do not read too far into this, there are plenty of churches that have profound impacts on culture. These very same churches are the ones that are attacked the most by a society that wants them to be active in practice and silent in spirit.

The other side of this coin is the place of the government within this cosmic battle of good and evil. The government is not, “Babylon the great.” (That is a shout out to my Sunday School class) The problem is the compartmentalizing of life by the government. There has been a lack of people to serve the people, I.E the church, to the extreme that the government has been forced or sometimes has forced itself into places of authority. These places have become diving boards for a lost world to plunge into deeper distress. How can someone who doesn’t believe in God almighty ever know what is true justice? They cannot. The person can grasp at straws to fix momentary problems but can never go to the root of the issue. Government cannot dig into the core of humanity and change the lives of people, only God can. This is why things such as murder, rape and theft will continue until the world is changed from its core. We must also remember that God has given the government all of its authority. Disagree? Here are some verses…….
I Peter 2:13”Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority,”
Romans 13
Be Subject to Government
1Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities for there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.
2Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.
3For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same;
4for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil.
5Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience' sake.
6For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God, devoting themselves to this very thing.
7Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.
8Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.

So here is the question, what is the churches job? It is true that the church is called to love people; the problem is that our love cannot just be seen in handouts and hugs. The love that, “compels us,” is a love that desperately wants people to come to the saving knowledge of Christ. This means that the church must relocate itself from sanctuaries to sanitariums, from its pristine walls to broken homes. The church must intentionally go deep into the recesses of world and bring life to them. Is it not sad, the church has spent so much time powdering its nose that we assume the blush on everyone’s face is real.

I do not know where government and church meet. I know that the church has an eternal call to follow the plan of our great builder. This should compel us to work with all people on all levels, praying for those few who will receive and come to know the grace, which abounds inside of us.

A few opening thoughts.......

I don't know if anyone will ever read any of my following comments. I just wanted to provide a place that my students and others could come and have discussions and offer insights. I have not informed anyone about this blog site, although I intend to do that immediately. Here I will post my notes from studying, thoughts and any other tid-bits that come from my heart and mind. I welcome comments and hope for discussion.

Here are just some thoughts.......things to maybe ponder and hopefully discuss.

I have often wondered why it is that we claim the greatest story ever told and the greatest truth known to mankind yet we fear telling anyone. It doesn’t seem to make sense that we would hold something so precious inside, never to give it flight.

Why do we fear so much? It consumes our lives to the point we cannot focus or function. Our Christian life becomes a compartmentalized set or buttons we pushed to make sure Jesus is pleased. The problem is that Jesus is only pleased when we do as we are called to do. Jesus is pleased when we are out doing His work and will. I guess I have become very tired of practicing Jesus, I want to become as Jesus. I want to step off this cliff of fear and gain the, "wings of eagles." I have found that reading scriptures and memorizing passages, praying, all such things are good but without the practical application they become void nonsense, a series a repetitions, which neither grows spiritual muscle nor develops spiritual skills. When will we just get out there and “Just do it.” I see that the possibilities are endless; we just have to stop pretending we are at the end.

I know that I tend to be a little ruff with how I tell people these things but it is just how I express myself, maybe someone needs to be a little gruff.